Sunday, March 8, 2009

Keeping my mouth shut and my total inability to do so.

I guess that's the reason I'm doing this... blogging, that is.

I've tried blogging on political/social issues, only to receive responses ranging from pissed off to a polite "thank you for stating the obvious". I took away from that little experience that I'm never going to raise anyone's social conscience nor will I be a force for social change.

But most other times that I open my mouth inane, random, bizarre & socially awkward things come boiling out. Like the time that I loudly asked a group of girlfriends over happy hour margaritas (we had just started so I can't blame the demon alcohol) who or what they fantasized about while... um, flicking the bean. Then there are also the one-too-many-glasses-of-wine-I-really-need-to-email-somebody kinds of things. I usually get a response like "what?!" or "oh-kaaay."

So I figure, since I find it impossible to keep my mouth shut and have never shied away from showing my ass in public (see profile photo) I might as well drop my drawers down to my cankles and do it publicly on the internet. Yes, I'll probably embarrass the crap out of my husband and kids but I figure he knew what he was getting himself into and the kids will eventually need therapy anyway. This will just give them something to talk about while going through regression therapy. That's the worst case.

The best case is that I can use this as a behavior-modification tool. Yep, public embarrassment, is very effective for getting your kids to behave. My kids know that any woman that has the tits enough to parade down Main St. Jackson MS in a blue, sequined dress equipped with motorized, spinning propellers on her heavily augmented bosoms, a 5" tiara on her big-haired head will not hesitate to stand on the nearest table and loudly sing a new composition (of her own impromptu creation) extolling the virtues of well behaved children.

So there you have it.


  1. Love it love it love it! You have a great blogging career ahead of you. The profile picture could not be more awesome- Maybe eventually you could get that bigger up at the top - it just says so much. :)

  2. Hi, I'm a Christy too and I cannot keep my mouth shut either!